Let’s Talk About Grief…The Myths
- There is no timeline to grieve. It is a life process and everyone’s experience is unique, don’t judge yours or others.
- Grief may include a whole array of emotions and reactions, not solely those that are generally thought of as grief, like depression, sadness, guilt, anger and many more. Sometimes old issues, feelings, and unresolved conflicts may be triggered. Feelings and emotions can change with every sunset and moment by moment. You are doing hard work, be kind and loving to yourself!
- Emotional responses to grief differ from person to person. Some people cry, while others don’t. You have the right to your own feelings, whatever they may be. There is no wrong or right way to feel. Some people are talkers or doers, while others are listeners or thinkers. You can and should express your grief in a way that feels right to you. Grief may affect you physically, causing you to feel tired lethargic, or run down. It may present in all aspects of your life- emotional, social, spiritual, and physical.
- You not only mourn for the deceased. You grieve for the current loss, past losses and memories, and future losses. Grief will entail mourning not only for the actual person, but also for the lost hopes, dreams, and unfulfilled expectations you held. An example of this would be, “dad will never be able to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day.”
- Your friends and family may not know how to support you, so they give you space or do things that might be annoying, irritating or smothering. Just keep in mind most often everyone is doing the best they can in the face of a loss. Others, you may not expect, may offer help and you may welcome it. However, you may not need or want what the kind of support that is being offered. It is okay to let people know what you need or don’t need.
- Kübler-Ross wrote about the 5 stages of dying (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) while she was working with the terminally ill, not those who were mourning. Despite how popular it is we would like to suggest that you consider the Dougy Center’s model, which emphasizes the non-linear journey of grief. Stay tuned as we will be discussing this more in future groups, if you would like to join our free, monthly groups at Coral Springs Funeral you can contact Karen Forrest 954-255-8411.
* If you ever have questions, need further support, or would like to meet 1 on 1 we are here to help. We are also open to suggestions on how to best serve you and others.
Katie Lemieux, LMFT – Owner & Director of “Lemieux Solutions Unlimited, LLC”
Group Co-Facilitator – Emlyn Whipple, MA – Registered Mental Health Counseling Intern
by Katie Lemieux