Fabio made them famous. Or is it the other way around?
You know what I’m talking about: Romance Novels, no ladies I am not talking about the “Fifty Shades of Grey” although that can work wonders for your intimate life.
Chances are you’ve seen a romance novel as you’ve strolled by your local bookstore, scrolled online, or perhaps you have one by your bedside.
Maybe they’re a guilty pleasure.
In addition to business books, I enjoy some “rom com” from time to time but usually in the form of a movie. I have to be in the mood to get really sappy.
Romance novels often get a bad reputation among book lovers and the general public alike, criticized for the surreality of the situations and humorous descriptions.
Yet sometimes, a romance novel could be exactly what your relationship needs.
- Romance novels can help couples with mismatched sexual desires get on the same page and in the same mood.
Sexual intimacy is a big part of relationships and for those couples where one, or both partners, have physical touch as a Love Language, sex can be a form of how they show that love.
It’s important to recognize and understand one another’s intimacy needs and to find ways of mutually meeting one another’s needs as well.
- You can get NEW ideas for your own love life
Long term couples often lament in couples counseling about “losing the spark”. After a decade or more of marriage or being together, children, homeownership, and career aspirations (just to name a few of the stressors couples face on a daily basis), some couples just don’t make time for sex anymore.
Through romance novels, there’s hope! I know it can sound hokey, but hey is what you are doing working? Just saying… so why not try something new and for many of you reading this, different I am sure!
Find new ways to spice up a part of your relationship which might be feeling bland as of late.
The key here will be an open and honest discussion between both individuals about the quality and frequency of the sexual intimacy in the relationship.
Talk about the words passion, romance, and commitment.
- What do each of those words mean to you?
- How do you express it?
- How do you define it?
- What does it look like?
- How do you know when you or your partner are showing it?
- What would your romance novel read like?
- It gives you a fresh, new and fun perspective
You know I’m all about fun ways couples can get the spark back in their love life, from playing simple games at red lights to having “Adventure Night”, a favorite in my relationship.
With Romance Novel Month, I encourage you to pick up a romance novel from your local bookstore and read a bit of it with your partner, even if just for a few good chuckles.
If you want to take things a step further, if you’re both willing, act out one of the scenes and see where that takes you or write your own romance novel. You can write it together or separately where the 2 of you are the characters.
Kind of fun, silly, sexy… whatever spice it up, enjoy!
Not in the mood to read? Check out a romantic comedy, like The Big Sick, and talk about each of the characters and what romance meant to them.
If you and your partner are looking for ways to reconnect and communicate better, around your sexual intimacy or more, I’m just a phone call or click away to help at 954.401.9011 or Katie@FamilyAndCouplesCounseling.com.