Every 3rd Tuesday from 7:15pm – 8:45pm myself and colleague, Emlyn Whipple, have the honor to be with people along their grief journey.  Grief groups are held at Coral Springs Funeral Home and are free to all participants, you just have to let us know you are coming, as in make sure you RSVP to myself or Karen Forrest – Karen@CoralSpringsFuneralHome.com

Today, the topic was “Before and After”.  Here is s snippet of the types of questions that were asked and discussed.  Feel free to answer them yourself.

“Before the death of my loved one my biggest commitment was… and now after the death of my loved one my biggest commitment is…”

“Before the death of my loved one the thing I most cherished was… and now after the death the thing I most cherish is…”

“Before the death I found solace in… and now after the death I find solace in…”

Before we got started we did a “feelings check in”.  Each member expressed how he/she was feeling in the current moment and how he/she would like to feel at the end of our session.

Tonight at grief group we had a new member, what she desired most was to leave feeling optimistic.

During the group there was a lot of sharing, comfort, memories, tears, and laughter.

At the end of group, I went around the room, and I came around to her and asked, “so how are you feeling now?”

She looked down and laughed….”optimistic”

Imagine coming to a grief group and in 1 hour leave feeling optimistic.  My feeling at the beginning of group was “committed”, committed to the participants in getting what they came for.

Thank-you to our grief group participants for sharing their experiences, joys, tears, memories, …. as always it is an honor to entrust us in sharing the things you hold so personal and dear.

by Katie Lemieux

Goal Setting & Resolutions

Resolution = A firm decision to do or not to do something. (Merriam Webster)
Goal = the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end. (www.dictionary.com)

While well intentioned, only a small percentage of people actually succeed when setting “New Year’s Resolutions”.

We suggest creating goals rather than resolutions.  A resolution lacks many of the key factors to be successful.  Based on Merriam Webster a resolution is only a decision to do or NOT do something.  Many people When we decide to do or not do something, we need to create a course of action.

Step 1 – Envision your goal!
Go grab paper and pen….

Now, close your eyes and visual you reaching your goal. Where are you? Who are you with? What time of year is it? How old are you? What do you see? What do you smell? How do you feel emotionally? Who else is proud of your accomplishment? Have others joined you in accomplishing your goal? What is the first thing you notice since accomplishing your goal? What do others notice? What do they say to you? How do they respond to you?

Great now open your eyes and write down what you just envisioned as if you were writing an introduction to a novel called“My Life in (insert year)”.

Step 2 –“Putting It Into Reality – Making It Measurable”

1. Go grab what you wrote last week about your goal.
2. Put yourself back into the place of having reached your goal. The feelings, emotions, sights, scents, sounds, etc.
3. Now, pick a date that you have achieved your goal, make it realistic.  By the way, “someday” last time I checked is not a day on a calendar, choose a date!  “Sometime in June” doesn’t count either.  Open your calendar, pick the date, and mark it down.
4. Go tell 3 people, who care about you and support you, about your goal and when you expect to achieve it.

Step 3 –“Fine Tuning Your Focus”

1. So you have established the date you have achieved your goal, now let’s fine tune your focus on your goal.
2. GO – back to last week in your mind.
3. START – Pick a day of the week to start on.  I want you to mentally go through your day and notice everything that happened that was in alignment with your goal.  It could be big or small.  It could be an action you took, a phone call you made or received, a commitment you made, possibly you did some research on the internet about your goal, or ever talked to someone…
4.  DAY BY DAY – Go through the entire week, day by day, and just notice all the things that happened and that you did that were a small step in achieving your goal.  It helps to write them down.
5. REFOCUS – You might find yourself wanting to focus on what didn’t happen or how you didn’t get everything accomplished but just for now focus on ALL that did get accomplished and happened.
6. ASK –  at least 3 people to share with you what they noticed you accomplished throughout the week.  Add them to your list if you are writing them down.
7. FIRST – acknowledge yourself for all that you did.
8. LOOK – at what worked – AND REPEAT – do MORE of what works!!!!

I also suggest learning about and how to use SMART goals.  Check back for an updated blog on this.  I utilized SMART goals in Feb 2012 to achieve my weight loss goal of 20lbs.  It was a GREAT success and I even was 1st place winner in my entire company of 600 people!

by Katie Lemieux

As a therapist, the topic of self care often arises.  Therapists and other helping professions need to be extra diligent in taking care of themselves to continue to provide quality services for those they work with.  Helping professions and professionals need to be aware of “compassion fatigue” and burnout.

As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist I see it as my job to have integrity with what I am sharing with my clients to help them in their lives, and what I am doing in my own life.  I can’t boast about pampering and taking care of oneself if I am not willing to do it for myself.

Back in September Elizabeth Gard, owner of “The Gard Gallery” in Parkland, FL, reached out to me to join forces with the work I do and the work The Gard Gallery does.  I decided to take a group of friends, most of them therapists, for a partial celebration and to put our artistic skills to the test.

It was a very interesting experience.  Getting so focused on what is at hand the worries of the world seemed to slip away.  As we allowed the instructors to guide us through the process, I definitely felt many different emotions arise as I was painting, some of them were frustration, confusion, pride, and relaxation.  One of the skills that they taught us was to “step back”, every once in a while to gain a new perspective on what we were painting. So many times in working with clients we have to remind them to “step back” to look at the big picture.  We invite them to look at and celebrate the progress they have made as well as looking at all the sum of all the parts and how they have come together to create a whole.

This collage contains pictures of the studio, Elizabeth assisting me on my painting, and me stepping back to gain a new perspective of my creation.  I think you can tell by my expression that I am pleased with the final product.

As 2014 rolls around Lemieux Solutions Unlimited, LLC and The Gard Gallery will be joining forces to bring together counseling, creativity and art.  Check back with us periodically to see what we are up to, how you can get involved and how our joined forces will benefit you and those you care about!  For more information about services that Lemieux Solutions Unlimited, LLC provides CONTACT US.

Snapshots of our evening were done by Photographer Trish Hamilton.  For further info about her photography you can visit her at https://www.trishhamilton.com

So we did a trial run of a Mother’s and Daughter’s Painting Evening on December 27th. we gathered 18 mothers and daughters to take part in this event.  Below are some snapshots of what was created.  The Gard Gallery instructors really have a talent for bringing out the talent in others.  For many of the women it was their first time painting and they were all pleasantly surprised by the results of their work.  In some of the pictures you can see the drawing as well as the painting.  Look closely and see how well every woman is doing.  We hope you stay tuned to what we are up to in 2014.  See you then!

by Katie Lemieux

Are you tired of the 1 word answers teens give you when you ask them a question?  Do you think the words “fine” and “good” are the only 2 words they know when corresponding with you?  Well here is a list of 25 questions to engage a teen in a conversation.

This is from the “Teen Success Conference”

1. What is one thing you think I would never allow you to do?
2. What is one thing that you would be shocked that I did at your age?
3. If you have to give me some advice on how to be a better parent what might you say?
4. If you got $1000 to spend on anything you like, where would you shop first?
5. If you had to choose the top 3 things I think you are spectacular in what do you think I would say?
6. What song best describes you and why?
7. If you were able to have the powers of a superhero what power would you want?
8. If your life were a video game or a book what would the title be?
9. What would life be like without any parents?
10. What are 3 skills that you possess to succeed in life?
11. What are 3 ways you are most like me?
12. What are 3 ways you are least like me?
13. If you had to choose your own name what would it have been?
14. What is the scariest thing you think kids deal with today?
15. If there were no such thing as technology what do you think your life would be like?
16. What is one thing you couldn’t live without?
17. What celebrity or famous person do you most admire and why?
18. What celebrity or famous person do you least admire and why?
19. What do you think your life will be like when you are 40 years old?
20. What do you worry about the most?
21. Where do you like to hang out the most and why?
22. What character in a movie do you most relate to?
23. What are you most proud of?
24. What do you think I am most proud of you for?
25. If you had to describe our family as a movie, sitcom, or show what would be describe us?

This was inspired by my commitment to teens & families.  Myself and colleague Miguel Brown, MS of www.MiamiTeenCounseling.com put this together this list with parents of teens in mind.   For the full 100 questions email us & be placed on our newsletter.

by Katie Lemieux