Party of 1 – Marriage or Couples Counseling for Individuals
You are in a relationship or married and your partner refuses to attend couples counseling. You desperately know the 2 of you need help.
Perhaps it has been a long time where you know you needed help. You may have reached out to your partner and suggested going to counseling in the past, but he or she refused.
You are either afraid to reach out again or perhaps your partner rejected your request again.
It seems the fights and arguments are getting worse. You are going nowhere except around in circles. You feel frustrated, annoyed, sad, and helpless. You don’t know what to do, how to make it better or fix it.
You have probably read some self help books on relationships, listened to some podcasts and attempted “date night” or a weekend getaway, yet things doing seem to change.
You feel the distance separating you like a cold, steel wedge. You yourself are growing more tired and distant. The resentment is building, and you feel like two ships passing in the night.
You hang on to a thread of hope that your relationship or marriage is salvageable, but you just don’t know how to salvage this sinking ship. Perhaps, you worry it could get worse, like this could be the end and divorce is lurking around the corner.
You might realize there are some things you need to work on, but you know if the 2 of you went together things could get better quicker.
Worries, Fears and Concerns About Coming to Counseling
I get it. I have heard the countless reasons, worries and fears couples hesitate coming to couples counseling or marriage counseling together even when they know they need help.
The fears or worries the refusing partner has stated are:
- If we have to go to counseling it must be really bad.
- I don’t want a counselor to tell me how to live my life.
- I am not the problem, YOU’RE the problem.
- YOU need help. I don’t need help.
- You go first then maybe I will go.
- If we go to counseling that is a precursor for divorce.
- I don’t want the counselor to take sides.
- Counseling is too expensive.
- I know we need help, but let’s try X. Y, and Z first.
- I don’t want to be told I am the wrong one.
- Who knows if couples counseling will really help.
No, I don’t have a video camera in your house nor am I a psychic, but I have heard almost every concern as why couples hesitate coming to couples or marriage counseling together.
Let’s face it the idea of going to counseling can be nerve wracking because we come with our preconceived notions, past experiences or bad experiences of others that we make our own reality.
What Counseling is REALLY Like With Katie
Most of the couples I work with find hope and relief when they come to couples counseling.
They feel mutually supported because my therapeutic style is a cross between coaching and counseling (and I like to have fun too, laughing is essential). I don’t serve as a mediator or judge, condemning 1 party over the other.
I teach couples a ton about relationships and then support them in applying the tools and techniques they have learned. I tell couples all the time that the majority of couples conflict is not their fault because they haven’t learned any other way. It is our default programming (more on that in session).
Is counseling an investment, absolutely. It is an investment in your time, money and bettering your relationship (who doesn’t want that), divorce or separation is always more expensive. The benefits you get from counseling spill over into other relationships. It is a beautiful process!
If Your Partner Still Refuses
If your partner still refuses that’s ok!
There is hope and an option, you still can come to counseling and we can work on your relationship. There is a ton to learn and understand about relationships, believe me I can blab for days on the topic.
Although it is best and ideal for both parties to attend couples counseling, change and transformation can occur in individual counseling with one partner, and it can affect the other partner and relationship.
So, if you partner is still refusing after you showed him or her this page that’s ok, let’s begin our work together. Give me a call 954-401-9011 to schedule your appointment.