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LGBTQ, Are Your Children Legally Yours?

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If you haven’t already seen the picture of the Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau celebrating and honoring LBGTQ people and couples, #Pride2017 in Toronto over this weekend.

As the month of June, which among many things is Gay Pride Month, comes to a close, I’m reminded of the importance of knowing your parental rights as same sex parent.

Divorce for LGBTQ couples can sometimes be a little trickier than you might expect.

Friend and Family Law Attorney Radoyka “Roe” Minaya specializes in family law for LGBTQ families and shares how when children are involved, it’s especially important to know your rights as a parent.

Roe has both knowledge and personal experience on this topic area which makes her my go to gal on this subject.

Every state is different when it comes to parental rights and in Florida, same sex parental rights are still a little unclear.

As of 2016, birth certificates didn’t allow for same sex individuals to be listed as the other parent under the “Mother” or “Father” title.

While this is changing to the more neutral “Parent 1” and “Parent 2”, it was difficult when same sex parents chose to separate because usually only one parent was listed on the child’s birth certificate.

Roe’s got 3 great tips for same sex couples who want to hold legal guardianship rights to their children.

  1. Get Married!

Now Roe’s isn’t pushing marriage, but if you are going to be together and are committed to your partner it’ll save you a whole lot of hassle if you and your partner decide to separate in the future and children are involved. Getting married allows both parents the same rights.

  1. Adopt Your Child

If you are not the birth parent of the child adopting your child will garner you the same rights as your partner.  Although it’s never fun to think that a child you helped bring into this world and raise won’t be thought of as your own, going through the adoption process will give you the same rights as a biological parent in the case of a separation.

Several steps must be made in order to adopt your child including a Home Study amongst other things.

  1.  Get Educated

Knowledge + Action = Potential Power

Get educated, know your rights, consult Google and definitely consult an attorney.  An attorney who specializes in Family Law and LBGTQ rights can help support you on this journey.

If you identify as a LBGTQ couple, live in the state of Florida and have children or are thinking about children I highly recommend reaching out to Roe Minaya.

For more information on couples counseling in Coral Springs, read more on my Marriage Counseling, Couples Therapy, and Coaching page!

Couples Corner Divorce or Mediation

Is Divorce the Only Option?

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This week on The Couples Corner we had the pleasure to chat with Leisa Wintz, a family law attorney, about mediation as an option for couples who wish to divorce, and whether or not divorce is the only option. Leisa’s background is unique in that she holds a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and worked as a mediator prior to becoming an attorney. Although it’s never pleasant to reach the conclusion that a marriage has come to end, the terms on which a couple separates can make a world of difference. Leisa discusses what mediation is and questions to ask if mediation is something you’re considering as you separate from your spouse.

Couples Corner Divorce or MediationIt’s important to note that the information Leisa shares is specific to the state of Florida; however, you can gain some insight on mediation and if you have specific questions regarding your state we recommend you consult an attorney in your state.

Why mediation?

Leisa shares that divorce through mediation is a common question couples have for her, mostly because individuals may not want a judge to make decisions about the situation. There are times when mediation will be the best choice and also not the best choice for couples. We all have preconceived notions of what we think divorce looks like; if you’re curious about your options, most lawyers will offer a free phone consultation and if you don’t like the first attorney you speak with, hang up and call another. Your lawyer should be your partner in this process and having a like minded lawyer who is on the same page as you will be your best asset. Mediation will consist of a third party, neutral individual who will help negotiate the terms of the separation. As Leisa says, in all good compromises, you’ve got to give up a something and if one person walks out of mediation feeling like he/she got everything he/she wanted, something went wrong.

For some couples, they want the divorce to amicable. Additionally, mediation is required in the state of Florida if there are children involved and you can’t settle. While it’s not required that you reach an agreement in mediation, it is required that you attend.One thing Leisa points out is that the results of a mediation will depend one two things: your mediator, and how nice you (or your spouse) want to be in the process. Should you take a lawyer with you to mediation?

That all depends. It’s not always necessary to bring a lawyer with you to mediation but Leisa recommends knowing yourself and knowing how you respond in situations. If you’re the type of person who can live with a decision and move on, maybe you don’t need a lawyer. If you’d rather have a very clear understanding of the how assets are divided and know what you’re entitled to, it may be worth having a lawyer there. It’s also important to remember that while many couples may start off with good intentions, things can change as the divorce progresses and it’s important to be prepared.  If you are contemplating divorce there are many things to consider.  The emotional, legal and financial aspects of divorce can be difficult on all involved.  There is also the option of Collaborative Divorce which we share on another episode of The Couples Corner.