15 MORE Ways to Make Your Relationship Sizzle This Summer”

I know you are probably reading the title and asking yourself, “Where did I miss the original 15 ways to make my relationship sizzle?”  Guess what you haven’t!  If you like this fun list of ideas and want more at the end of this blog just click on the hyperlink to get an additional 15 ways, 30 in all!  We always love to hear your feedback, so feel free to let us know how these ideas made your love life sizzle this summer.

1.      Have a day with no agenda – the only 2 things on it should be the 2 of you.

2.    Check out a live band or go to an outdoor concert.  Rock out, jam out, or dance the night away with your love.

3.    Read a romantic or sexually charged novel together.

4.    Lie on a raft or in a hammock together and talk about your shared dreams and goals.

5.    Create a new summer tradition.

6.    Make a summer project together.  You can pick seashells and make a craft out of it.  You can take pictures of each thing you did this summer and make a memory or scrapbook.  What will you do?

7.     Take a couples’ yoga class.

8.    Take your honey and go buy some new summer attire, try it on for him or her and let your partner pick what he or she likes on you.

9.    Get involved in a sport’s activity whether it is on a team, a day event, fundraiser, or just for recreation.  Play on the same team and flirt during the game, give your partner a friendly “good game” slap on the butt, whisper what you would like to do later, steal a kiss just like stealing 3rd base…

10.   Turn on a slow song, hold each other close and dance in your living room.  “Being a good dancer” is not a required, so no excuses here!

11.     Kiss for the entire duration of a stoplight.

12.   Play Twister, if you don’t have it just create it!

13.  Find a waterfall you can swim under and have a passionate kiss.  You can pretend you are shooting a love scene in a movie.  If you have to make your own waterfall, a hose will work too.

14.  Plan a weekend “surprise” summer getaway for your beloved.

15.  Make a favorite drink of yours and sit out on the deck and talk about nothing and everything.

CLICK HERE for those 15 additional HOT and SPICY ways to make your relationship sizzle this summer!

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Katie Lemieux, LMFT


What Does a Pina Colada Have to Do With Rediscovering Your Partner…

pina-coladaAs a couples counselor my work is profoundly rewarding. I love being the catalyst that reignites a spark between the partners I work with deepening their connection, love, intimacy, friendship, understanding and compassion for one another.  The majority of the work I do is with couples.  My work with couples is a reciprocal relationship, one in which my couples don’t even realize the benefit that I receive watching the magic unfold in the counseling room.  In meeting couples for the first time I am educating them on not only the process but also the dance they have been doing.  I share and explain to them what is happening or occurring in their relationship and why.  They often listen intently with heads nodding as if I have been a fly on the wall for the majority of the time they have been together when the disconnection and distance started to slowly seep in.  I get the process, I see the process and how it unfolds, and I see what creates and sustains it.

The reciprocity happens for me when I sit and watch couples communicate and connect after teaching them new tools and guidelines for communicating and connecting.  As they share, open up and connect sometimes I see and hear myself in their words.  As they share with one another they bring new awareness to my relationship, of course I don’t disclose that, but I can often find myself saying, “huh that is interesting that is exactly how I feel”.  My work is a beautiful thing!

Through my work as a couple’s therapist I get to help two people connect with one another again. I love watching couples increase their emotional intimacy, willingness to share and be vulnerable with their partner. I get to spend my time helping people reconnect and rediscover one another no matter how long they’ve been together.  I am honored and privileged to be a part of the deep intimacy that occurs in my therapy room between 2 people. Being just three or four feet away from people who are able to connect and share genuinely their fears, worries, hopes, dreams, desires and longings is not an experience most people get to witness.  I am often touched as I watch things transpire and unfold in the room.

As our work gets underway, and I teach couples new ways of being and communicating, I can’t tell you the number of times that couples have said to one another, “I didn’t know that about you. I’ve never heard you say it that way, or I had no idea.” Watching this in session reminds me of the “Pina Colada Song”. If you’ve never heard the “Pina Colada Song” it describes perfectly what I get to watch evolve in couples counseling as I help couples communicate and re-connect in their relationship.

If you’ve never heard the lyrics I will give you the “Reader’s Digest” version.  The song is about a couple who has fallen out of love and has gotten into the “same old mundane routine”, one that I am sure that many of us can relate to.  The man in the relationship decides one night to look into the personal ads as his woman is sleeping by his side.  He finds this captivating ad and is intrigued by it. He decides to respond to the ad without informing his partner.  He writes a catchy ad back to this woman expressing the things that he is into.  He tells her, “I need to meet you by tomorrow noon at a bar called O’Malley’s where we will plan our escape.”

So, he waits in anticipation of meeting this woman.  As he walks into O’Malley’s, the bar, and looks around for this woman he sees and recognizes her instantly.  He says, “I knew her smile in an instant and the curve of her face.  It’s my own lovely lady and she said uh, it’s you. We laughed for a moment, and I said I never knew.”  What happens in the song is that they reconnect on things that they never knew that one another enjoyed, things like drinking pina coladas, getting caught in the rain, drinking champagne, and making love on the dunes at the cape, . Ultimately what they were looking for was something that they had always had within each other.

I hear so many stories of couples who resemble the “Pina Colada Song”. They’ve been in their relationship long-term and have grown distant. They haven’t discovered ways to connect or reconnect. Many times couples try to insert solutions into their relationship in an attempt to circumvent the challenges they have. I tell couples it’s often not their fault because they don’t have the training, education, or knowledge on how to communicate deeply in a space where it’s safe to be exposed and vulnerable. I share with them that our work together is not about creating solutions but moving from the upstairs, our brain, to downstairs, our hearts. The process is about feelings, connection and love.   When we deeply connect with ourselves, share and feel validated by our partner new “solutions” naturally arise between two people shifting and transforming the course of their relationship and lives.   Just for fun, here is the song… Enjoy!


What Does Fried Lemonade Have To Do With Enhancing Your Relationship?

Wow, some time has passed since I have reached out to you all or “y’all” as they say in Texas. I just flew back Sunday night from Dallas and had the pleasure of meeting some really cool folks all the while getting to expand my “Treasure Box” of interventions and tools to help couples. I also took a spin by the state fair, did you know that they serve “Fried Lemonade” there! I had to consult Google to really understand it. It was a frenzy of fried food – Fried Oreos, Fried Pumpkin Pie, Fried Butter, and the list went on.


While in Dallas, I attended the Gottman Level III conference this past week and weekend put on by National Marriage Seminars. My practice continues to expand with a keen focus on couples work. I think it is because I just love, love and want to help others remember why they fell in love and help them create AMAZING relationships. So what does “Fried Lemonade” have to do with having a better relationship…trying new things of course! I mean, unless you are a Texaner I bet you have never tried Fried Lemonade either. I wanted to share with you a few fun ideas. Drs. Julie and John Gottman, the creators of the researched based “Gottman Method of Couples Therapy”, identify 3 main areas in helping couples expand their relationship. Those 3 areas are: Managing Conflict, Building on Friendship, and Creating Shared Meaning.

I personally love the “Building on Friendship” area because it fits with my fresh, fun, and clever side.  Here are 10 NEW things I recommend to build on your friendship and make things FUN in a stressful world.

1. Buy a board game and have game night.

2. Grab the game Loaded Questions and just ask one another questions or text them to each other during the day. You can utilize this as a family game as well. Great way to engage those teens too! I have used this in working with teens, you get to tap into their world in a whole new way.

3. I came across this cool book written by Dr. Michele O’Mara an Indiana based therapist. She has a very focused practice working with lesbian and transgender couples. She wrote a book called, “Just Ask: 1000 Questions to Grow Your Relationship.” Here is a fun one, question #361 – “Do you have any routines or behaviors that you engage in every day that many others do not?”  I know you are thinking about this right now, and your answer is…????

4. Gottman – Love Map Cards, This deck of cards helps you understand one another’s world. You can play these cards in a variety of ways. Answer them yourself, answer them about each other, or my favorite… answer them about your mate through a friendly and fun game of Pictionary. If you ever decide to enter couples counseling with me we can DEFINITELY play this, just remind me!

5. Gottman – Building Ritual of Connections and Opportunity Cards.  This is a GREAT way to talk about ways to connect with your partner.  For example what are your rituals when you: depart in the morning?  come back together at the end of the day?  are away on a trip?

6. I came across this book in the store.  “What I Love About You and Me.” I just recently ordered it.  It is a fill in the blank book.  It will get you and your other half talking about the love you have for one another.

airplane7. Make a bucket list together.  I am adding to mine – “fly first class to a foreign country with my beloved beside me.”  What is on yours?

8. Take a class together. I met a Texas based therapist, Stephanie Coker of Coker Counseling, who did a couples improv comedy class with her husband. How fun is that! I will be looking for one of those in my state.

9. Act out a love scene of a movie, over dramatize it just for fun!

10. Check out the “If…” books. Here is one, “If…On The Game of Love.” One of the questions from the book is, “If you could have a massage from anyone famous, who would it be?”

BONUS – this one comes from a  really cool couple I currently work with. They introduced me to the “Heads Up” app.  We actually played it at the start of a session.  I love when the people I work with teach me new and cool things!  They play it everywhere and anywhere.

So, I just gave you 10 FUN things to do with your beloved, friends, family, teens, anyone really, AND I made it REALLY easy for you.  Even though you should probably be working just click on a hyperlink of one of the things that might interest you and if it moves you, order it and take TOTAL credit when you bring it home to your other half.  Tell him or her that YOU thought of this cool and creative idea unless he or she read this blog then that won’t go over so well. Either way, I won’t be offended by you taking full credit, just email me the result of trying one of these 10 things and that will be all the reward I need… YOU having a more fulfilling relationship. See you soon!

by Katie Lemieux


15 Ways to Make Your Relationship Sizzle This Summer


Are you ready for some fresh, fun and clever tips to make your relationship sizzle like the summer heat??? Perfect, then keep reading!

  1. Share an ice cream cone and feed each other.
  2. Take a trip to the beach, a park or any place you deem a natural beauty.   Spread out a blanket, sit on a bench or a rock and take an oath of at least 15 minutes of silence.  Just be in the space with nature and your partner.   Utilize all your 5 senses to fully experience this moment.  When the time is up, turn face-to-face, touch, and talk about your experience and what you noticed.
  3. Sit in a quiet place face-to-face, Indian style or on chairs.  One partner closes his/her eyes and the other partner gently caresses the other one (the partner being caressed keeps his/her eyes closed) for 5 minutes.  Touch the face, ears, hands, fingertips, knees, back of neck, etc.  Partner one breath deeply in and out and focus ALL your attention on each touch.  After the 5 minutes is up open your eyes, and both of you share about your experience, then switch.
  4. Skinny Dip – PS – make sure you don’t get caught.
  5. BBQ sauce isn’t just for chicken or for a summer BBQ – lick the BBQ sauce off your partner’s fingers.
  6. Wrestle in the water.  Make it a game where the winner wins and the loser wins!
  7. Recreate and relive a summer memory the 2 of you enjoyed.
  8. After a day out enjoying the summer sun, bathe one another; don’t forget to apply lotion after your shower or bath.  I can’t be responsible for what happens after or before that, for that matter.
  9. For fun and for “old times sake” write a love letter to your sweetie in your handwriting and mail it to him or her.  You can even send it to his or her work.
  10. Sit by a campfire or make your own, roast marshmallows and feed each other S’mores.  Use other ingredients like your favorite chocolate bar or a different type of “cracker”.  Just for, fun, together, create a new name for it.
  11. Red lights = kisses, at each red light give one another a kiss.
  12. Do an Internet search for “sex tips” and try several of them out.
  13. Find a roof top or somewhere secluded and watch the sunset or sunrise, pair this intimate moment with delicious foods and/or drink.
  14. Declare War – have a squirt gun fight.
  15. Looking to build and create trust, then take your sweetheart rock climbing.  This is a great way to increase trust in your partner and increase your listening and communication.

* Did you like these 15 tips to make your relationship sizzle?  If so sign up for our newsletter to receive more great tips.

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by Katie Lemieux


25 Ways to Have Fun and Be Playful in Your Relationship

Below, I share with you some creative ways to express your love and have FUN!  As always feel free to share with others, and it is actually encouraged!  I mean who doesn’t want more love, better communication and connection in their lives!

  1. Play Lover’s Olympics – no money needed just some creativity.  Don’t forget a special prize for the winner.  Some ideas are:
    • Shot for Shot – paper and a trash can
    • Race – from one point to another
    • Timed Task – who can complete a task the fastest
  2. PILLOW FIGHT!!! Enough said – so much fun and great stress relief.
  3. Have an “Attitude of Gratitude” – write down 25 or more things you appreciate about your beloved, take turns sharing with one another what you wrote.
  4. Go on a trust walk – one person leads the other while blindfolded and then switch.  Talk about the experience, how well did you trust this person?  Was this an easy task or hard task, why?
  5. Have a surprise day for no reason, surprise your beloved with something as if it was a special occasion.
  6. Stop saying “no” and start saying “yes” to your partner’s wishes for one evening.  Remember to take turns, perhaps go ride bikes and race to see who wins.
  7. Feed one another – chocolate, ice cream, or any yummy treat your partner loves.   For extra surprise and fun…blindfold the receiver.
  8. Discuss something you would like to change within your daily regimen, such as going to bed. Perhaps you hold each other and talk about 10 good things about your day or you move the TV out of the bedroom.
  9. Get reacquainted – ask each other interesting questions the will enhance and deepen your connection and understanding of one another and that facilitate conversation.  Such as:
    • If you could never speak again how would you express your love to me?
    • What was your first thought when we met?
    • What was your favorite part of your childhood?
    • What is one value you learned growing up that you bring into our relationship today?
    • If we only had one more day together how would we spend it?
    • Power Outage – pretend for 1 night there is a power outage in your home!  No electronics, no stove, no microwave, what would the 2 of you do?  This one is also great for parents and kids.
    • Water balloon fight!!!  I have done this before and it was sooo much fun. We laughed, we plotted, we bombed each other with water balloons. At the end we were both wet and had a great laugh. Best done outside, just saying!
  10. Cook a meal together – select the meal, shop for the ingredients, and divvy out the tasks.   Cook, eat, and make sure you clean up together.
  11. Just for fun make out like when you were younger.
  12. Get silly – play a game of “Simon Says”.
  13. Thumb Wrestle – may the best thumb win!
  14. Game Night – pull out a board game, bring on the appetizers and enjoy.  Make sure there is a prize for the winner.
  15. Roll the dice – grab 2 dice, for 1 of the die assign tasks such as 1 = hug, 2 = kiss, 3 = foot massage so on and so forth.  For the other die this would be for the amount of times or minutes.  For example, roll the pair of dice.   On 1 die you roll a 3 and the other die rolled 6.  This would be a 6-minute foot massage.  There is no telling where you can go with this game, but keep the TMI to yourself :o)
  16. Snuggle!!!!  I have to say this is my favorite past, present and ALL time.
  17. Eye Gazing – sit on the floor Indian style or in a chair knee to knee and gaze into each other’s eyes for a period of time without words.  This is a VERY intimate exercise.  Many people have a hard time with this level of intimacy, you may giggle or laugh, some may even cry, it is all good!  You are showing your true self to your partner.
  18. Take a walk or a stroll hand in hand if you feel like it break out into a skip, hop like a kangaroo, just get your silly on!
  19. Get your jammies on, put the jazz, R & B or whatever you fancy for music and have a dessert night.
  20. Do something fun you have never done before.  Groupon and Living Social or so great for these ideas.  Just plan something already!
  21. Either create a bucket list or get out your bucket list, go down the list and start planning to make one of those items a reality.  This year I will have fulfilled 3 items on my list!
  22. “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” ~ John Lennon.  Don’t let life pass you by without really living it.
  23. Pick an activity you used to do when you were dating and go recreate the moment.
  24. “Adventure Night” – this one comes directly from me to you!  It is a Katie special.  This is one of my favorites.  You get in the car and the passenger picks a direction to drive. The driver starts driving, then the passenger continues to choose different directions without any agenda. You drive with no specific purpose and then you start looking around and find something new and fun to do.  This is a great way to take the pressure off anyone person for having to make a decision and choosing the same ole, same ole stuff to do.
  25. Feel free to write us, tweets us, or inbox us to tell us how you did and what was most useful! We always love to hear how we helped reignite the spark. Northerners don’t forget to send us your most creative snow people replicas!Like the 25 Playful Tips?  Sign up for our newsletters and receive more great information.

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    Katie Lemieux, LMFT – Lemieux Solutions Unlimited, LLC
    By Katie Lemieux

Marriage and Couples Counseling – Shifting the Anatomy of an Argument

This comes from our work with couples and families. All couples and families argue and many of them have tried different things but they seem to talk about and discuss the same argument over and over. Seeing we do couples and family counseling often we have created and suggested shaking things up.  Here are some of our thoughts, interventions and ideas!


1.  Schedule and Time Your Argument: Do you argue often with your significant other?  Why not set a certain time aside and commit everyday to arguing for a set amount of time. Crazy you think, but why not, you are most likely to do it anyway?

If you feel like arguing earlier put it off until the time you agreed upon, save everything you want to argue about until the time comes. If you set time to argue every evening at 7pm for 20 minutes then do it, diligently.  If you run out of things to argue about keep arguing until the time is up.  When the time is up, stop and resume same time tomorrow or whatever days and times you choose.

2.  Relocate: Take your argument to a different place.  If you always argue in the bedroom why not jump in the shower and continue to argue, perhaps the library, grocery store, stand on opposite ends of the garage facing the wall,  turn back to back and keep arguing…

3. Get Close: get really close! For this one I suggest hugging each other and continuing to argue or wrap yourselves into a sleeping bag and carry on.

One of my favorite stories is from my friend Kim.  When she was a child her mother ingeniously created a consequence that yielded amazing results.  In order to “punish” her for being mean to her younger brother her mother used to make her and her brother sit in front of one another indian style and hold hands.  Kim was so disgusted by her brother’s “puppy dog smell” being mean to her brother didn’t last long.

4. Communicate in a Different Way: Does speaking add fire to the argument? Why not write it out or type out your argument?  It will shift and change the anatomy of the argument.  Want to make some fun out of your argument how about playing “Wheel of Fortune” or Hangman with what you want to communicate to your significant other.  There are many ways to communicate differently.  Feel free to add your creative ideas by leaving a comment for other to read.

5.  Record It:  This is a juicy one, only for the brave!  You get to see, explore, examine how you really behave and act when you are upset.  Go grab your phone, a voice recorder, a video camera, etc and record your next argument then when you are calm and can listen from an objective point of view play it back to explore patterns of behavior, themes, etc.

by Katie Lemieux

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